11 Ways to to Include Family + Friends In Your Elopement

Table of Contents:

Can We Elope With Family?
Should We Invite Guests to Our Elopement?
How to Decide Who to Invite to Your Elopement
11 Ways to to Include Loved Ones In Your Elopement

Throughout my many years of documenting adventure elopements, there’s one question that 99% of my couples get stuck on at some point: should we elope with family?

If you’re here, you’re probably wondering the same thing. Maybe you’re wondering how to elope with family, or perhaps you’re seeking permission to actually elope without family—which I’m more than happy to give you 😉

Either way, I wanted to answer a few FAQ’s about planning an elopement with guests, and give you 11 ways to include your loved ones in your special day whether they’re physically there with you or not. Sound like a plan?

Can We Elope With Family?

First thing’s first: if you’re wondering if you’re even ALLOWED to elope with family, let me tell you that the answer is a resounding yes! In fact, you’re allowed to do, well. . . anything you want on your elopement day. I’m a firm believer that elopements are about the couple planning them, and that your day is meant to look exactly how you want it to—not how your well-meaning grandma or 5 married cousins with endless “helpful advice,” want it to.

Let me give you the validation right off the bat that whoever you choose to invite on your elopement day is good enough, it’s okay, and it’s “right” as long as it’s right for you—be it nobody, two of your best friends, or 15 of your closest family members.

I know that the word “elopement” sometimes comes with the image of a couple spontaneously running off to a courthouse in Vegas in private, fleeing their regular lives and forsaking all opinions of others. And while I DO encourage you to take that spirit into your elopement + feel free to be as careless as you’d like, I also want to remind you that that definition is a little outdated.

Eloping doesn’t mean you have to get married in private if you don’t want to. It doesn’t mean you can’t invite your parents if you don’t want to. Your elopement won’t be any less valid if you do invite guests, and vice-versa—it’s not any more valid if you don’t invite guests!

So as we dig a little deeper into the question of whether or not your dream elopement day involves guests, and as I give you a few meaningful ways you can include your loved ones, remember that none of this is a rule or an expectation you need to follow: it’s simply guidance to help you find your own path somewhere along the way.

Should We Invite Guests to Our Elopement?

Well, I can’t tell you if you SHOULD, but I can help you figure out if eloping with guests is the right choice for you.

Eloping with guests is for you if. . .

✅ You can’t picture yourself getting married without your people by your side

✅ It matters to you to celebrate alongside the people you love

✅ You’re ready to invite only the people that will support you every step of the way

✅ You would regret not having certain family members witness your marriage

✅ Having a post-ceremony reception with your closest people sounds like the perfect way to spend your elopement evening

Eloping in private is for you if. . .

✅ You don’t like being the center of attention and would prefer to be alone with your partner

✅ You’d rather cut the costs that come with inviting guests (food, transportation, etc.) and put that toward creating memorable experiences of your own

✅ You’d rather not risk dealing with any family drama

✅ Your ceremony would be more meaningful without anybody else around

✅ You’re okay letting your loved ones know they’re not invited, and will be secure in your decision even if you receive pushback

Now if you don’t feel like there’s a clear option that’s better for you, consider planning a multi-day elopement that involves the best of both worlds, or splitting your elopement day in half. Part private celebration, part gathering with your people.

Multi-day elopements are amazing for couples who crave both time to themselves and time with their friends + fam. You can spend one day entirely on your own, exchanging your vows in private and enjoying your own unforgettable adventure, and the other day surrounded by the most important people in your life, celebrating and feeling all the love and support. You don’t have to choose one or the other if you don’t want to!

How to Decide Who to Invite to Your Elopement

If you’ve decided you want to invite guests to your elopement, awesome—what better way to tie the knot than in a beautiful destination, surrounded by the people you love most in your life?!

The next step is figuring out who you want to invite, and this is where things can get tough. You want to invite your friends and family, but maybe you feel like if you invite X cousin then you’ll have to invite Y cousin. . . and then you’ll have to invite grandma and grandpa and aunts and uncles. . .

So to help you get rid of the pressure to invite everyone + make sure you ONLY invite the people who are going to be most supportive on your special day, I’ve created a bit of a filter you can put every person through!

When going through your list of potential guests, ask yourselves these questions to help you decide whether or not they’re worthy of an invite:

➡️ Is this someone who will bring support, love, and positive energy to our day?

➡️ Would we regret not inviting this person?

➡️ Could this person potentially cause unnecessary drama, stress, or negative emotions?

➡️ Can we see ourselves having an incredible day without this person present?

➡️ Has this person been there to support and love us throughout our relationship?

➡️ Does this person play a meaningful role in our lives or love story?

11 Ways to to Include Loved Ones In Your Elopement

Finally, let’s go through a few meaningful ways that you can include the people you love in your celebration—whether they’re physically present on your elopement day or not.

If you’re eloping with guests. . .

1. Invite them to speak during your ceremony

2. Invite them to a post-ceremony celebration back at your Airbnb

3. Book a fun activity or excursion you can all do together

4. Invite them to give speeches/toasts when you pop champagne

If you’re eloping without guests. . .

5. Facetime them while you’re getting ready

6. Host a viewing party for your photos/videos later on

7. Invite them to write letters that you read during the day

8. Livestream your ceremony (if you have cell service)

9. Meet up with them the day after you elope

10. Have them send congratulatory videos that you watch after your ceremony

11. Include photos of them in your details/decor

I hope that by now, you’re feeling a bit more confident in your decision to elope either with or without guests, and that you’re SO stoked to make all your adventure elopement dreams come true. If you’re ready to find a trusty elopement photographer to support you every step of the way + help you decide how to include your loved ones in your big day (if you want to), reach out here and let’s freaking make it happen.

On the hunt for more elopement planning ideas + advice like this? Don’t miss my three recent blog posts that’ll help you bring your dream day to life!

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I’m Sarah, an elopement photographer traveling around the United States in my campervan.

I spend months at a time at each location I travel to, diving deep into the local elopement market in that area, so I can bring the important information to you from the comfort of your home.

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